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What is 'Folder 15'?
SHORT STORY
'untitled folder 15' (Which became Folder 15) is a collection of songs built release by release, single by single. The folder is full when there are 15 complete songs inside the collection, which will then be released in totality for streaming etc.
LONG STORY
I was fucking bummed out, but I knew it was of those periods that make us stronger in the long run.
Alone for very long stretches in deep winter, sleeping in an industrial unit, coming off drugs and separating from a partner of nine years. Physical exercise kept me warm, charged and motivated to never simply give up, but I felt extremely lost and isolated (and this was before isolation was trendy!)
One evening I journeyed into my inner world seeking answers, a way out of the emotional and mental puddle I had created for myself, I knew art was the path for me (hence the unheated space with no hot water etc) but had been wandering, the ghost of teacher's words haunting my steps. So I drummed, breathed deeply, danced, hummed and played with my Tarot cards ===> Spinning and whizzing; Whirling and swirling.
Then, I lay down card number XV (15) The Devil and...BANG ==> sMaSh ==> ZOOM!
I collapsed to the floor, a kinda fit, flew, across some sorta bridge made of light, which in turn became a tightrope, then a fine point, I was on the very tip of some kind of spire, in a psychedelic bright light, I was like 'Ahhhh! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!'.
Then a voice, yep, I said it....a voice (I'm trusting you here, please don't send the geezers with needles and tablets after me).
The voice greeted me very softly and in a feminine tone, strong and assertive, yet jokey.
I felt as if I was supposed to know who I was speaking to and so I said a name, the name was apparently right because the Voice became excited and asked me what I wanted to know. I fumbled for a moment, nearly lost my balance, nearly tipped off into doomed reverie.
'DON'T SLIP' the voice yelled.
I snapped back, then asked 'Purpose?'
'Oh, that...music...silly.' replied the Voice.
The response made it seem like there were a lot of better questions I could have asked.
Falling, dropping toward my body. The ghosts showed themselves ==> Ms Woods looking me in the eye and saying 'Music is not for you' and loads of other neggy moments to do with me being creative.
BUT, I also saw myself as a four year old singing opera on a table and everybody laughing; I saw myself at seven years old dancing to Queen, I saw the joy and satisfaction that music gives me.
Obvious.
Been running from it, scared. Strayed because I'd allowed my confidence to be crushed, I'd let imagined fears of not being good enough stop me.
Well..FUCK THAT.
When I'd grounded, I got on my computer and started a new folder to make some beats, just so happened that the newly created folder was 'untitled folder 15'.
Like, omg!
15 and 15 and more 15, urrrrr, I'll have another 15 please!
A vague plan was hatched to create 15 songs and release them as I went along into a playlist until the folder was full, at 15 songs. I drew my own picture of a wee Devil and we're off!
Originally this was to be on Spotify, however after four songs released in that way, it's too untidy, so all songs and videos will now be released here and on social media. When the folder is done, then the entire collection will be sent to the distributers and on to the platforms.
In conclusion, I find it amazing how we can run and dance around what it was that we so obviously want to do in the world. I tricked myself so much that I simply forgot and buried a truth of me. However after speaking with many people, I've found the suppression and fear of creativity due to negative experience (particularly in schools) to be an extremely common theme. This is something I would like to help in life where I can and if this resonates with you, please message me if you wish to.
If you have made it this far, salute!
Thank you so much for engaging in what's crackin.
Let the folder numbered 15 fill to the brim!
AL x